Mad Dogg's Birthday

I have a current co-worker who turned 30 today. Out of respect for his relative privacy, I shall call him "Mad Dogg".

Now, Mad Dogg is one of the youngest folk working here. I'd say the age range of most employees here is anywhere from 25-65. You'd think that he could easily look around the office and see life beyond 30. But no... the freak-out was on. He told us that he just sat on the couch this morning, and seriously considered skipping work. He said he was going to call in "old".

Mad Dogg is one of those people who doesn't have a filter between his brain and his mouth. When he speaks, it is always interesting. And usually shocking. And frequently amusing. In this respect, he reminds me a bit of a co-worker from my previous job (I'll call him "Rent-a-zilla" :) ). Anyway, in recognition of this personality trait, Mad Dogg's birthday cake said, "Happy Birthday XXXXX". In place of "XXXXX", naturally, was one of Mad Dogg's favorite profanities.

Mad Dogg's reaction to the cake was pretty much as expected. His face broke out in a wide smile, and he exclaimed, "That's awesome!". There was... ahem... a simple adjective between those words, of course. To emphasis just how awesome it really was. Apparently, a pinnacle was reached.

His birthday card was filled with various messages from us, most of which were inspired by his unique character traits. In other words, I can't really reprint anything from that card here. When he finished reading (and laughing at) the card, another co-worker asked him if he needed a quiet moment alone to get emotional about all the well-wishes in the card. After a hearty, "Yeah, right!", I told him, "I've got a hug for you... if you need it." He said he'd take that hug, but only if he could grab my hinder. By now I'm sure you can figure out which word he likely didn't say, and what word likely went in its place.

During the course of the birthday cake consumption, a story came out from yesterday. It seems Mad Dogg and a work buddy were leaving yesterday at about the same time, and a truckload of high-school age hotties drove by and shouted at them. Mad Dogg took this as a tremendous compliment. "Oh yeah", he says, "I've still got it." He told his wife this story, trying to see if he could make her jealous. Her reaction: "Honey, they were just making fun of you."

The general consensus around the office is that his wife is right.

As the celebration faded, and people were headed back to their offices, I said to Mad Dogg, "Hey, thanks for gettin' old for us." I got quite a dirty look.

Happy Birthday, Mad Dogg! Try not to break a hip on your way home.