I Am Like A Ghost

I walk quietly.

I never thought this was a problem. I can think of several reasons why I developed this habit... I remember being enthralled by the idea that ninjas could silently sneak up on their victims (for some reason, this was virtually the only aspect of "ninja-ing" that really interested me). I remember being told by a adult-shaped thing that I was being far too noisy as I ran from room to room. I remember creeping up behind my uncle to surprise him, only be be spooked myself as he turned around and said "You sneak like an elephant."

I remember in Marching Band, doing the heel-to-toe glide walk and thinking, "Hey! This is a really quiet way to walk!"

And so, after many years of mild interest and inadvertent training, I tend to walk quietly.

Every now and then I'll walk into a room at home, not intending any harm, and my wife will shriek. She'll tell me I snuck up on her.

More recently, I'll walk up to LadyPatsFan's desk and ask her a work-related question. My question is always answered by a frightened *GASP* and the "click!" of her chair as she crashes back down to earth. This happens even when I'm 10-15 feet away and start clearing my throat loudly on approach.

*Most* recently, I nearly killed somebody just last week. I walked into the break room and said, "Hello". The young lady who was filling up her tea mug nearly poured boiling hot water down herself. Her face looked like she'd just seen an ax murderer. I'm sure that she had to change her pants.

I have become harmful to others. I'm trying to decide if I'm proud of this accomplishment.

Maybe I should tie a bell around my neck.