Monday, February 08, 2010

Windows 7

For the next few weeks at least (maybe longer), I'm moving to a Mon-Wed-Fri posting schedule. I'm also going to push my normal post time back to 8:30, and I'm going to type up all my rough drafts in Swahili.

Join us...Several of us installed Windows 7 on our computers at work. This involved lots of bizarre configuration for our corporate network, so we had one of the IT Nerd Kings leading us through the installation, step by step.

We were told to click a particular button, and a thing installed in a couple of seconds. Well, for most of us it installed in a couple of seconds. For Big Dawg, the progress bar got about half-way and stopped.

"What do I do now?", he asked. The IT Nerd King was perplexed. "Maybe the hardware BUS configuration is scanning the dilithium chambers for signs of intelligent life," he pondered. "Turn your speakers on."

I can slow down for you if you need time to go grab a nap or some coffeeBig Dawg blinked. Then, wordlessly, he turned his speakers on. The installation finished instantly.


We never doubted him again. Although, frequently during the installation we'd ask speaker-related questions. "Now you need to reboot." "With our speakers on or off?" "Off." There'd be clicking noises from four sets of speakers, and then the systems would go down for reboot. Good times.

Later, with Windows 7 safely installed, he led us through some of the new features he thought we'd like. "Check this out," he said, "It's a new way of organizing Wotchas on the Whizbang."

Hard currency is the stuff of nightmareI spoke up. "But I fear change."

It was several moments before the IT Nerd King could respond. Hey, I gotta be me.

Later we were on our own, installing the various programs we need for our jobs. I like Windows 7 quite a bit, but there were things that took some getting used to. One of those is an "Elevated Shortcut". If you don't know what that is, don't worry. It's just something that I needed that was a bit of a challenge to learn how to create.

And it had been a LONG CRAZY STRESSFUL week. I didn't take that week off from blogging for nothing! Many things had failed on me recently and I was really frustrated. And I finally figured out how to make an Elevated Shortcut.

I whooped. I threw my arms up in the air. I giggled. I lost the capacity for verbal communication. I bounced in my chair. I got a little delirious.

Today, minor success!... Tomorrow... THE WORLD!!!"Wow," said Big Dawg. "It's an Elevated Jeff!"

I wheezed desperately in reply. My teeth were clenched in a grinding overly-wide smile. I hadn't blinked in several minutes.

"Are those 'Happy Jeff' noises, or 'Insane Jeff' noises?"

I still couldn't quite speak, so I grabbed a piece of paper. I scrawled the words, "Delierious Non-Verbal Happy Monkey!" and handed it over to him.

Big Dawg chuckled, then grabbed his own pen. When he handed the paper back to me, he had added, "With spelling problems!"

Hey, I gotta be me.


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