Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Apathetic Checker

My wife and I were at Target the other day. We bought a few odds n' ends, including a large bottle of laundry detergent.

The lady at the checkout counter mumbled something and starting scanning items without even looking at us. My wife interrupted her to ask, "Did that laundry detergent scan?"

Whatever, dippy
The checker-lady looked up, eyes rolled back in annoyance. She looked like she couldn't possibly care less. She waved a hand dismissively and mumbled "Scanned."

When our total rang up, it was obviously at least 10 dollars short. "This didn't scan," we insisted. The checker-lady just shrugged. She was so apathetic about it, she couldn't even be bothered to verbalize.

"Look, I get that you don't care," I said. "But I kinda don't want to be a shoplifter, even if I get away with it. Re-scan this."

She rolled her eyes and grabbed the bottle. I decided to test the limits of her apathy. "Look," I said, pointing behind her. "There's a guy stealing an armload of toilet brushes." "Meh," she replied.

"He's sharpened the end of one and he's pointing it like a sword." "Feh," she elaborated.

"If he takes out your manager, you could be in line for a promotion."

Yeah, I've got issues
Still nothing. I waved my arms in the air. "Hey! My hinder is on fire!" "Whatever."

"Actually," my wife said, "Your hinder really is on fire."

I jumped and yelled and did a groping little "hiney-dance." There was no fire.

So, we never did hit the limits of our checker's apathy, but we confirmed that my gullibility is at standard levels.


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