Monday, June 04, 2012

Ladders

0As you may recall, last week I replaced a ceiling fan... twice. I was proud of my minor accomplishment, but even so the next day brought about a different kind of joy.

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Jeff: Oh! This is stupid, but I was so excited. Last night, I didn't spend even a single moment up on a ladder!

P-Ziddy: And doctors everywhere looked at their checking accounts and sighed pitifully.

Jeff: Absolutely.

Jeff: Our buddy Scruffy was over yesterday evening. I showed off the new ceiling fan, and then he got to talking about how he'd like to install a new ceiling fan in his guest room.

Jeff: Translation: "I'd like for you to install a fan for me."

P-Ziddy: ROFL

Jeff: So I started talking about scaffolding. That seemed to convince him it would be a LOT of effort to install one for him.

P-Ziddy: Hey Jeff, could you come over and replace the ceiling fan in our vaulted living room? Don't mind me, I'll be over in the corner with the video camera and a mop.

Jeff: Sure!

P-Ziddy: Don't worry. We'll make enough off of our winnings to pay most of your medical bills.

Jeff: Scruffy makes me look like Bob Villa and Ty Pennington combined. I'm not sure what mental pic he had in his head when I invoked "scaffolding", but I'm sure it was pretty traumatic.

P-Ziddy: Sure. I can come do that. BTW. How many fire extinguishers do you own?

Jeff: And yes, the ceiling in question is vaulted.

Jeff: "It'll actually be easier if we peel back some of the roof tiles and go in from the top."

P-Ziddy: And is your carpet Scotch Guarded? I hear pee stains are a pain to get out if they're not.

Jeff: "We'll just fill your guest room with packing peanuts. That way, when we fall it won't hurt." "When?" "Yup."

P-Ziddy: I need someone... er... something soft to land on.

Jeff: "You're fully insured, right?"

Jeff: "Planning to fail" is the same thing as "Misplaced confidence", so no worries!

P-Ziddy: In case of fire, scream like a little girl and run around in circles.

Jeff: Can do!

Jeff: Copy... Paste...

Jeff: Aaaaaaand... there. Blog posts for next week, one of three.... complete!

Jeff: Thanks!

P-Ziddy: No problem.

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