The Mocking Train

Trains in Owasso are vindictive creatures. They don't come out often, but when they do, they bring tears of helpless misery to their victims. This is my tale of woe.

I was coming home from work last Friday. Suddenly, a train jumped out onto the tracks, blocking my path.

"Oh generous Mr. Train," I begged, "Will you kindly proceed with haste and clear a way for a weary traveling soul?"

"I'll eat your heart!" growled the train. "I was never loved when I was young!"

The train stopped. The last train car was clearly in sight. Then, with a squeal of unholy delight, the metal beast began to back up.

Minutes later, the train's engine was in view. "Oh humble soft-spoken train of joy and good fortune," I pandered. "It would be the truest mark of bliss for thou to reach thy destination, and to allow your captive observer to proceed to his home."

"I question your manhood!" thundered the train. "I will taste no bread until I have crushed your fondest dreams!"

The train crept forward. When the end was in sight, the train stopped again. Then it backed up. When the engine was in sight (again), the train stopped (again).

It did this forward / backward trick 6 times. I am not exaggerating that number.

I finally called the police. I had no other choice. I couldn't throw rocks (I didn't have any), and I didn't want to scream profanities (the guy on the motorcycle behind me was doing fine on his own).

The police agreed to call the train station and yell at them. 3 seconds after I got off the phone with the police, the train moved away. I am not exaggerating that number, either.

The moral of the story is to watch out for trains when you visit Owasso. They will eat your heart if you're not careful.