Friday, January 16, 2009

Goodies From The NFL

Kings of merchandisingThis weekend the NFL plays the last two games before the Super Bowl. I thought I'd share a couple of bizarre NFL goodies I've found recently.

A Unique Final Score

If you've watched any NFL games at all you've probably seen the stupid stats they show from time to time. "Alvin is the first running back named 'Simpson' since 1997 to catch more than 10 touchdown passes in November wearing a red jersey IN NFL HISTORY!"

They always throw in that phrase, "IN NFL HISTORY" so that you (the unwashed masses) will understand the incredible significance of the moment. Otherwise you might not realize the importance of little Joey being the first black Quarterback since 2005 under 5'8" to break both legs in the same game but still lead a scoring drive in overtime in the rain while being legally dead (IN NFL HISTORY!).

I am awesome. You are not worthy.Last weekend I saw what could possibly be the king of all stupid stats. Near the end of the Eagles game, the awestruck announcers reverently informed us that this was the first game in NFL history to have a final score of 23-11.

Well, now I guess I've seen everything. I can die happy.

It wouldn't be so funny if the NFL announcers didn't take it so seriously. Clearly, they felt that they had experienced something otherworldly, even sacred. It wouldn't surprise me at all to find them hawking stuff on eBay to mark the occasion ("The underwear I had on during the famous 23-11 Eagles game... hasn't been washed... certificate of authenticity included!").

Best. Nickname. Ever.

Those of you with queasy stomachs may want to click away. I swear I am not making this up. There's a defensive player for the Arizona Cardinals whose nickname is "Fart Box."

Oh, just write your own joke here! :)I have a new hero.

Everybody who has a nickname on this blog better say "Thank you, Jeff".

When I showed that article to iCanSpell, she said "His mother must be so proud."

When I showed it to my wife she said, "That's *your* nickname!"

Clearly, this is the best nickname in NFL history.

1 Comments:

At 9:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you, Jeff... for all three of my nicknames. So I guess that'd be more like Thank you, thank you, thank you.

 

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