Friday, April 22, 2011

A Discussion Regarding Clubs With Nails In

In the blog comments for "Punch Drunk", V had this to say about about the "wood club with a nail in it":

V: (gasp) You mean, not everyone has a wooden club with nails in? I thought that was standard equipment.

Now that I know it's all special and stuff, I'm going to take mine to the grinder and put a fresh point on all the nails.

Jeff: ROFL

"a fresh point on all the nails"

I have a most excellent mental pic of you standing at a grinder with your club o'nails, humming happily. There's a blacksmith's fire in the background with a tea kettle, of course.

V accused me of peeking in her window. I guess I hit pretty close to home.

Later, V and I were discussing something unrelated, but the conversation came back around to spiked clubs:


Jeff: Truly, my glass is half full. Well. Maybe 1/3 full. Definitely at least 3/16ths full.

V: Are you sure it's even your glass?

Jeff: No.

V: There's your problem. Somone pinched your glass and drank it dry.

Jeff: Likely.

V: You should get a club with nails in and teach them a lesson. When people know you have one, they become all sorts of nice and concilatory.

Of course, a good solid club *without* nails can have a similar effect, and with your handy man skills, you wouldn't have to worry about killing yourself with the grinder.

Some people swear by rusty nails. Me, I think they should be clean, shiny and super sharp. That way you get the light reflecting off the points, dancing in little spots across their face. It's like having a scope without the red dot and the extra weight on the club.

Jeff: I love how much careful thought you put into your acts of violence. You are a true artisan.

V: Thank you.

Well, of course I was going to compliment her after all that. She's got a club, and takes great joy in using it.


At 11:00 AM, Anonymous P-Ziddy said...

Just for the record, Ace Hardware has a nice selection of stainless steel spikes. They stay shiny and don't rust.

Um... don't ask me how I know.


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