Public Notice

These are from the email archive. In some cases, the text is a little small, so I've got captions. You can click any of the images for the larger versions if you like.

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Thank you for taking all the eating utensils home to wash them. You can bring them back now.


DO NOT use microwave and toaster oven at the same time. It will throw Earth out of orbit and we'll plummet into the Sun. Thank you.


This is a window. Please use the door.


Do not use me. I am possessed.


The copier is out of order!
Yes - we have called the service man
Yes - he will be in today
No - we cannot fix it
No - we do not know how long it will take
No - we do not know what caused it
No - we do not know who broke it
Yes - we are keeping it
No - we do not know what you are going to do now
Thank you


Sorry, we are closed due to short staff
Hire taller staff 'cause I need a taco!


FREE strips of paper


Warning this machine takes your money and gives you nothing in return.
Just like my ex.