Showers

Today's blog post is brought to you with apologies in advance. It started with a rambling office conversation...

Big Dawg: "Yeah, I'd like to move to Hawaii. The problem would be getting a job so I could live in Hawaii."

Jeff: "You could brush up on your survival skills, and live on the beach."

Big Dawg: "Naw, I require fresh-water showers."

Jeff: "Thanks for making me think about you in the shower. I won't sleep tonight."

Big Dawg: "You're welcome. You deserve it."

I'm not sure anybody deserves that, honestly.

Later that afternoon Big Dawg was over at my desk. I have a big red "Easy" button, an old promotional toy from Staples. Big Dawg was leaving, and the button caught his attention. In overly exaggerated comic fashion, Big Dawg moved toward the button.

Big Dawg: "Can't... resist... must... PUSH!"

Staples Voice: "That was easy!"

Big Dawg: "Every now and then, I just have to obey that urge."

Jeff: "That's OK. I'd push that button myself every now and then, but I don't have to since... (ominous grinning pause)... you satisfy my urges."

Big Dawg: "Yeah, I mention showers just once and suddenly I'm satisfying your urges."

Jeff: "You know it, baby."

Hey, I apologized in advance, remember? No turning back now.

I mentioned this conversation to our mutual friend V, who had a simple but wonderful observation. For the record, Big Dawg, I did NOT say this next bit! It was V! Blame her.

V: "Big Dawg is a very uncomplicated man. A vending machine can handle most of his urges for a small fee."

Ouch.