Friday, October 05, 2012


So, I've got this toy pitchfork at my desk. Mostly it stays hidden, but sometimes I take it with me to meetings. I call it the "Holy Scepter of Authority."

Big Dawg took issue with the name. "It's a devil's pitchfork," he complained. "It should be your 'unholy' scepter."

"There's this thing called 'irony'," I pointed out. "You may have heard of it."

"It's plastic, not iron."

"Hey! Show some respect for the Holy Scepter of Justice!" I thought about what I'd just said. "I mean, 'of authority'. Or something."

"It keeps changing," Big Dawg said. "It's a poly-morph."

"Yeah," I replied. "It's my Holy Poly-morph Scepter of Authority!"

Big Dawg shook his head. "I prefer 'Poking'," he explained. "Or 'Prodding'. That works too."

Quickly we combined the names. "It's the Holy Poking Prodding Poly-morph Scepter of Authority and/or Justice!"

"We need an acronym."

We thought about this a moment. If you take the first letters of "The Holy Poking Prodding Poly-morph Scepter"...


"It's a spitting sound," I said, my voice full of awe and wonder.

"From now on I'm calling it your raspberry," said Big Dawg.

"I'll allow it."


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