Finish This Phrase

I had one of those really random thoughts. How would you complete this phrase, if you didn't know how it was supposed to end?

"A bird in the hand is better than two in the bush."

I did a little brainstorming, and this is what I came up with:

"A bird in the hand is better than..."

Police Officer		Two making a getaway in a stolen van
Cave Man		Dinosaur sniffing around campsite
Fireman		Two tipping over a lantern
Lawyer		A songbird on the witness stand
Edgar Allen Poe		Two trying to peck your eye out
College Mascot		Having to dress up like one
Circus Clown		Two in my pants
George W. Bush		Having to pronounce "Nuclear"
James T. Kirk		KHAAAAAAAN!!!
Wolf Blitzer		Two in the sound stage during my closeup
Bill Gates		Competition
Barak Obama		Two in Florida and Michigan with votes that count
Choosy Moms		Choose Jif
P.C. Technician		His nest on your hard drive
Conspiracy Theorist		All those radioactive mutant alien birds they won't tell you about

Well, how about YOU? How would you end this phrase, if you didn't already know the ending?