Wasps

At the beginning of summer, my wife and I bought some wasp spray. We knew this was a problem we'd face at some point during the summer, and we wanted to be ready.

Last weekend, we went for a walk around our apartment buildings. Actually, I hobbled and limped due to the condition of my feet. :) When we walked out the door, a wasp buzzed by us, prompting us to get off the porch quick.

See, as a kid, I had some bad experiences with wasps. About 6 years worth, actually. From about age 6 on to early teenage years, I don't remember ever seeing a wasp that didn't sting me. More than once, it was without provocation. I remember sitting by the side of a pool and seeing one, and thinking "OK, here it comes." ZAP! I hadn't moved! Another time, while running away from the inevitable, I got stung directly on the left buttock. A day later, I also got a mosquito bite there to compliment the markings.

I haven't been stung since, but that doesn't mean I've forgotten. I thought about that wasp on our porch the entire time we were out walking. I knew it was time to get out the spray... those wasps were starting a nest, or something.

When we got back, I looked up at the decking over our door. The wasps were not, in fact, starting a new nest. They were starting on a new addition to the acreage.

I was shocked. I thought we had been on the lookout for this kind of activity. All of a sudden, we look up and find the friggin' Grand Central Station of wasp nests. I swear they had an entire wing of the complex just so they could run new arrivals through Customs. And it was just a few feet in front of our front door.

A sympathetic (and bold) neighbor offered to knock down the nest for us. We quickly agreed. Later than night, we heard a banging noise. We stepped outside about 30 minutes later and sure enough, the nest was gone. I got out the spray and covered the area, just for additional peace of mind, and we went to bed.

Monday morning, I'm ready to head off to work. I opened the front door and quickly closed it again. My wife looked at me like I was insane. I let her open the door to see what I had seen... no less than 4 wasps swarming around, looking for their estate.

So, now I'm trapped inside by angry wasps. Mondays aren't exactly the best day of the week in any case, but even so they don't generally start with the threat of tiny stingers.

Once again, I grabbed the spray and went to work. Open the door, pick a target, BLAST!, close the door quick. Through the peephole, I could see one wasp gasping on the deck. Lather, Rinse, Repeat. After 2 wasps went down, the others got wise and flew away.

This morning, I can see where they are starting another new nest. This time, I'll have to stop them before it gets to the size of a suburb.