Welcome To The Neighborhood

The first few months after moving into our house, we were pretty well left alone. Recently however, we've found our way onto a bunch of church hit-lists.

Picture it... the doorbell rings and two very nice gentlemen thrust a plastic sack of goodies at us while saying, "Welcome to the neighborhood!". They don't actually live here, but they invited us to church anyway. We declined, saying "We already attend church someplace else."

The bag of goodies, though... wow. There was all sorts of sweet swag in there. Coupons for restaurants we like, disinfectant wipes, ink pens, candy, stickers, discounts... it was quite a haul. There was even some jewelery cleaner that tarnished one of my wife's necklaces (they can't all be winners).

A couple of weeks later, the doorbell rang again. "Welcome to the neighborhood!" They left without fuss just like the other guys, but they still gave us a grab-bag.

The time the quality of items was a bit lacking. We got coupons for places we don't like (including two that were already expired), ads (not discounts) for places we don't go, and a busted coffee mug.

It broke my heart to throw away a coffee mug.

Most recently, some guys came by with the same "Welcome to the neighborhood!" line. They were just as polite as could be, but they gave us the smallest gift so far - a single business card with their church's name on it.

I'm a little worried that the next group will ask for a handout before they step off the porch. Maybe I should crack a coffee mug and keep it by the door, just in case.

My wife and I now have an arts n' crafts project. We're going to create a decorative wreath to hang on our front door. Written on it will be:

"We already have a church home!"

If that doesn't work, we may try digging a moat around the house and filling it with broken coffee mugs.