Cheetos And Chopsticks

At work, Big Dawg and OoRah spend a lot of time at my desk disrupting me. It's the single biggest reason I've yet to win a Nobel Prize or file a Patent.

Anyway, Big Dawg saw me eating Cheetos and grinned. "I always think about college when I see Cheetos," he explained. "P-Ziddy and I walked by this Japanese kid's room and saw him eating Cheetos with chopsticks. At first we thought it was crazy, but then we realized he wasn't going to have to deal with orange dust all over his fingers. It was brilliant!"

We all laughed and agreed. Then I tilted my head back, up-ended the bag and announced, "But if you eat them like this, there's no orange gunk on your fingers, either."

"Yes," said Big Dawg, "But now you've got orange powder all over your face."

I pointed at my keyboard. "I don't type with my face."

Laughing, OoRah raised a hand. "But for those of us who do?..."

I stood and thrust my arm at OoRah, pointing. In my best overly dramatic voice I shouted, "GET! This! Man, some chopsticks!"

It's a miracle any work gets done at all, some days.