Exposure

For this story to work, you need a quick background story.

One day when I was in grade school, everybody in my grade level learned what "epidermis" meant. Our science teacher told us about this crazy new word that simply meant "your outermost layer of skin" but sounded vaguely obscene to your average fifth-grader. Some of us had science class before lunch, and some after. The teacher helpfully suggested that we have some fun with the word during our lunch break.

When the lunch bell rang, we took off at high speed for the playground. The ritual was that all the boys would run as fast as possible, and whoever got to the playground first won. I have no idea what the reward was, because I was never fast enough to be first (are you surprised?).

The kid who was usually the fastest was also an "after lunch science class" guy. He quickly began to outpace the rest of the pack, as usual. Then, the guy right behind him shouted, "Hey, your epidermis is showing!"

Our resident speedster instantly doubled over at the waist. He was reaching for his zipper when his face first made impact with the unforgiving dirt. It was a pretty spectacular display. He might have rolled further if the soccer net hadn't caught him.

Fast forward to present-day.

OoRah was standing on the other side of my cubical wall at the office, making conversation. He glanced off to the side and quizzically announced, "He's looking at my profile."

The "epidermis" story roared back to life, and my mind created a definition for "profile" that probably won't be found in Webster's. Suddenly I was worried... was OoRah wearing pants on the other side of that cube wall? Was he enjoying the attention? Should I inquire?

OoRah quickly explained... he could see a co-worker's monitor, and that co-worker was looking at OoRah's profile on a social networking site. It was too late though, the damage was done.

I explained the "epidermis" story to OoRah and my boss (who has a knack for showing up in the middle of embarrassing moments). While OoRah laughed, I looked at my boss and said, "I can't believe we tolerate this kind of behavior."

I'm sure my boss was wondering the same thing, about me. :)