Walmart

I think shopping at Walmart is hilarious. Check it out:

Mega-Burp

I walked in as a small family was walking out. Papa was first. He was unhappy, and was noisily complaining at his kid, who was next. The momma was last. As we walked past each other, there was an explosive ROAR.

I nearly jumped out of my skin. At first I thought she had snapped and started to scream at her kid, but it sounded more like I had stepped on a mountain lion's tail. She turned bright red, covered her mouth and timidly squeaked, "Oh! Excuse me."

I swear it was the loudest burp I've ever heard. Keep in mind, I've had college-age male roommates. I've competed with them in terms of volume, tone, and duration. I was pretty loud, back in the day. But this made my ears ring.

Truth In Advertising

The store was just crowded enough that I couldn't get many pictures. But check out... "One aisle. $1 dollar or less. One great way to stock up."



It's a little hard to see, but those items on the top shelf are leftover Easter baskets. Original price $14, but now they are marked down. To $9.

Methinks they haven't quite finished re-organizing the merchandise.

What Kind Of Milk?

My wife got stuck in a narrow aisle where an elderly couple was discussing milk. The woman could see my wife waiting patiently, but the man was oblivious.

"What kind of milk do we want?"
"It doesn't matter... just get what you always get."
"But this kind is a little bigger."
"It doesn't matter... just pick one!"
"What's the difference between this milk and that other one?"
"IT DOESN'T MATTER! JUST GRAB ONE, YOU OLD FOOL!"
"But what size do we need?"
"One big enough to hit yourself with! Now get out of that woman's way!"

Pink Taz Tattoo

Yeah, you read that right. A guy at a register in front of us had a Tasmanian Devil tattoo on his ankle. I'm guessing that he had this done long ago, because the colors were beginning to fade.

It's hard to see in the pic, 'cause I had to be discreet about snapping this one. His natural flesh tones were showing through, which made 'Ole Baggy Eyes look pink.



That's a manly tattoo, don't you think?