Lottery

My wife was reading a book called "Lottery". Apparently it's quite a good book. It's about a young mentally challenged man who wins the lottery. His only relative who actually cared about him has recently died, so he's pretty much on his own. Well, except for his one good buddy, "Keith".

50 pages into the book, my wife was laughing almost to the point of tears. I asked her what was so funny. "Switch is in this book!" she announced.

I was doubtful. Switch is a coworker of mine, and my wife has never met him. She's only heard stories and seen his Facebook profile.

Then she read me a few passages.

The main character (I forgot his name) asked Keith, "What am I gonna do with all this money?" Keith replies, "Well, you're gonna give half of it to the [extraordinary adjective] government!"

During a consultation with some lawyers, the main character turns to Keith and asks, "What language are they speaking?" Keith eloquently replies, "[Unprintable]! They learn it in school."

The character of "Keith" is a foul-mouthed gun-toting government-hating trust-no-one paranoid heavy-drinker. He's also a decent man (deep down) and loyal friend. He may as well be Switch's illegal North Korean clone.

Every 10 minutes while my wife was reading the book, she would laugh and then read me something that "Keith" said. It was grand.

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NOTE: If you are thinking about reading this book, you'll want to stop reading here! I'm about to spoil part of the end!
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50 pages or so from the end of the book, she got quiet. I asked her what was wrong and she burst out, "Keith died!" She was practically trembling.

I can just picture it, years from now, at Switch's funeral. "He was a good man, and Jeff's wife will miss him greatly..."