Panic Mode
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a crisis on our hands. The time to panic is NOW! This is more terrible than swine flu... more devastating than our local flash floods.My hoodie has torn.
Tears are appropriate at a time like this, so don't even try to hold them back. I weep with you. I weep for the damage to my hoodie.
I have literally had this thing since high school. There's no such thing as "quick math" with me, but after a few agonizing minutes of calculation and finger-counting, I realized that the hoodie has been with me for at least 15 years.The hoodie is soft and cozy. It's like being wrapped up in a blanket, except that I'm not limited to the couch. It's like a functional Snuggie. It even covers me in the back!
For now, I'm still in a "run around screaming" place emotionally. I'm not sure what comes next. Thumb-sucking, perhaps, or maybe locking myself in a bowling alley concession stand.
My poor hoodie! By Grabthar's hammer, by the sons of Worvan, ... you shall be avenged!
posted by jeff.w.mcclung @ 8:15 AM
8 comments
8 Comments:
Oh, and believe it or not, I did try to lighten that photo up a bit. I *knew* I should have just retaken the pic. Oh well.
I do not think that word means what you think it means.
Blog word is unnese. Apparently the blog likes the dark picture.
You are looking at this all wrong.
"Authentic Battle Damage" would be a little better.
...
"Authentic Battle Damage."
...
Oh, that could work, baby. Oh my. I think I love it.
"Authentic Battle Damage" would make a good band name.
They have this marvelous invention, perhaps you've heard of it. It's called a needle! (gasp) It's been around for ages and ages and centuries even. It goes with another marvelous thing called "thread".
If you feel that sewing livings in the realms of magic and fantasy, I give you the awesomely mysterious Iron On Evil Monkey PatchOh, and the code word today is "constipate." I don't even want to guess.
I like the Evil Monkey Patch. That got me thinking, Microsoft should release some of their patches in convenient iron-on form. I can see it now - "We installed SP2 on that server the old-fashioned way, but we simply ironed on KB156789 and KB568931."
Evil code word is "conise." No, I don't know what it means. And don't call me, "Shirley."
Wow. I must be losing my touch. "Authentic Battle Damage" should have lead straight into "Kung-Fu Grip" comments. I don't know how I could have fallen down on the job like that. My apologies. Won't happen again.
Blog word: nosyzsSo uh, what are you doing? What're you wearing? Who is she? How'd you meet? Does your wife know about her? Huh huh huh?
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