Smoke Detectors

Last weekend I got to replace the smoke detectors in our house. It shouldn't have been a big deal. Then again, *I* was involved.

We started by trying to find a ladder that I hadn't already fallen off of. Once a ladder figures out how to buck me, it's over. The crazy things make a game of it. I swear I can hear them giggle as I approach. Once, after getting a fresh carpet-burn on my forehead I swear I heard a faint metallic "Whoo-Hoo!"

Then there's the art of removing the old detectors. This should have involved nothing more than a screwdriver. After nearly impaling myself on the screwdriver and being bucked twice, I hit on a new technique. I learned that the old detectors were unable to hold my body weight. Armed with this new knowledge, each old detector was removed with a ripping noise, a yelp and a crash.

A quick Epsom Salts bath helped to calm the bruising. Time for Phase 2!

Attaching the new detectors to the wall should have been another simple "screwdriver" task. Having learned that there's no such thing, I decided to embrace alternative adhesive options. I attached each new detector to the wall with a combination of super-glue, safety pins and Hercules Hooks.

They'll hold my weight now. I can swing from those baby's with the greatest of ease.

Of course, 10 years from now I won't be able to replace them with anything less than a shotgun. Should be pretty easy, though... what could go wrong?