Monday, July 27, 2009

A Question I Don't Want Answered

LabyrinthBear with me, I'll get to the question in a moment.

I saw Labyrinth for the first time about 6 months ago. I had been told by many people that it was a wonderful, magical fun movie that everybody (in spite of the evidence) had seen as a child and that everybody loved unconditionally. My wife and I had a hole in our Netflix list, so we gave it a shot.

We hated it.

I relayed this experience to several friends afterward. Blunt disbelief was the most common response. I was told that I have no soul.

Feel the loveI just couldn't get past how cheesy and corny it is. David Bowie looked like he'd just stuck a finger in a light socket and his songs were annoying and he sure as heck didn't look like a goblin. Most of the muppets did not impress. The story did not impress. The only bits I actually liked were the Bog of Eternal Stench (I'm a sucker for stink jokes) and Ludo (same reason, basically).

LadyPatsFan and I discussed this at some length once she got past the open-mouthed shock of my hatred for the film (in other words, last week). We theorized that if you see Labyrinth before a certain age (prolly 10 to 13-ish), then the movie would be enjoyable. Once you love a movie as a kid, you'll love it for life.

This seems to fit the facts. All of LadyPatsFan's kids are 13 or younger, so she showed Labyrinth to them last weekend. For her sake, I hope she didn't miss the window of opportunity.

Anyway, I was thinking about this and a crazy question popped into my head. I hate myself for even thinking it. I'm pretty sure I don't want to know the answer. But if we adults have blind spots for movies we loved as a kid...

But... *everybody* loves the Goonies!*gasp* Did "The Goonies" actually suck?

Feel free to post your thoughts... I promise to fail to compile them, claim that the results say "no", and consider the outcome to be scientific.

I LOVE YOU SLOTH!

5 Comments:

At 9:30 AM, Blogger MetaCow said...

I think you may be correct. I saw The Goonies before the Age of Suck, so I can't speak for it. However, a few months ago, I finally got around to seeing A Christmas Story after hearing from friends for years about how great it was and how they couldn't believe I'd never seen it. I hated it. It was absolutely horrible. I've seen Ed Wood movies that were better. My only hope is that after my generation dies out, that scar on the Christmas landscape will finally heal.

 
At 10:06 AM, Anonymous P-Ziddy said...

I recall Jeff hating Transformers The Movie. Probably for the same reason. You can never recapture the childhood you never had.

Poor sap.

 
At 12:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, both Labyrinth and Goonies suck. Not nearly so good as Robin Hood!

--Farmer

 
At 4:19 PM, Anonymous Tom Steele said...

The Goonies and A Christmas Story are two of the best movies of all time.

 
At 8:20 AM, Anonymous Boy Wonder said...

How can The Goonies suck? Not possible! I mean... Booty Traps!

...that's what I said.

 

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