Flu Shot

Last week, I got a flu shot. It was terrible.

I always knew medicine would be the death of me, I just didn't expect it to be so inconsiderate about the whole ordeal.

There wasn't much of a line when I arrived. I guess everybody else knew better. I told the stabbing lady, "I am one of God's purest needle-wimps." She pointed to a big bag of candy. "Would it make you feel better if I said you can have *two* suckers when we're done?"

"Not unless I can beat myself over the head with them before we start."

She didn't speak much after that. I think I worried her.

Suddenly, JAB! Waves of instant violent nausea hit, and I doubled over. My stomach was flopping like a fish on dry land and my head was so low I could see the last three flavors of bubble gum I'd stepped in. I whimpered.

"Hey Gumby!", somebody shouted. "You're holding up the line."

Ah, compassion.

Later, when my skin tone was a little less green, I sat down at my desk and tried to get to work. My left arm had gone cold and was flopping around uselessly. This wasn't too different than normal, though. I just used my nose when the heel of my hand wasn't precise enough. My typos per minute actually went down.

Maybe it would be different if I had a muscle or two in my arm. I wonder if I can pick up one on eBay...