Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee

From the email archive: (#16 is my favorite, but #10 is a close second)

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1) You answer the door before people knock

2) You ski uphill

3) You haven’t blinked since the last lunar eclipse

4) You’re the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don’t even work there.

5) You can type sixty words per minutes…with your feet.

6) You can jump-start your car without cables

7) You buy half and half by the barrel

8) You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee

9) You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.

10) Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.

11) You’ve built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers

12) Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.

13) You think instant coffee takes too long.

14) You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.

15) Your birthday is a national holiday in Brasil.

16) You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

17) You can thread a sewing machine while it’s running.

18) You help your dog chase its tail.

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Bonus!