I Missed Out On Something Wonderful

Big Dawg had an old couch to get rid of. His apartment manager told him he could use a nearby construction dumpster, but the only way to get the couch to the dumpster was to take it down two flights of stairs, out the front door, and then around the block.

Hey baby

I could see it in my head. Big Dawg on one side, OoRah on the other. Carrying me, on a couch, down the side of a city street. This would be an adventure I'd tell my grandkids about one day! I could hardly wait.

The big day came. And I forgot.

Big Dawg, Golfer, M16 and OoRah wandered off to move the couch, and I didn't even notice. By the time I remembered, they were coming back from the adventure. I was heartbroken.

"You missed a lot," Big Dawg told me. "We had to cut the couch in half."

Yeah right, I was thinking. He's just rubbing it in. Then, as he kept talking, I realized something awful.

I regret nothing!

He. Was. Serious.

First, they dropped the couch on the Golfer. That could have been *me*! Can't you just imagine the "Jeff Smooshed by a couch" pics? You *know* I'd post them! Dang!

Then they got stuck on the second floor landing. A maintenance guy came by and offered, "I have a power saw." Big Dawg pondered this and said, "Well, we *are* throwing it away. Sounds good!"

Big Dawg and crew got to watch a crazy maintenance guy cut his old couch into three big pieces with a power saw.

Death to fabric-covered items!

That could have been *me*!

Then, they all got to carry Couch Fragments down a city street and around the block.

That could have been *me*!

*sigh*

Dang.