Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Weed Eater

I was working on the yard last week and noticed the motor winding down on the weed eater. It's an electric, so this isn't exactly normal.

I pushed on until I smelled smoke. Then I did my best to stomp out the resulting flames. Then I did a little "whoo-hoo hot-foot" dance and fell over on the driveway.

Time for a new weedeater. I went to Lowes and grumbled. The low-end unit they had was the same one that just burned up on me. They were out of stock on the next model up. So, I went for the "Foliage Fiend Vege-Crush 8000". The logo was sub-titled, "It's a good day to maim."

When I took it out of the box, the little dual-lines were already spinning slowly. The machine smelled like menace and dead leaves. I plugged it in. Time for a test run.

Thankfully, I've always wanted a door on that wall.

This weed eater is unbelievable and more than a little scary. It obliterated grass. It threw rocks like bullets. It cut deep into a tree stump, and sliced through fence posts like butter.

On a whim, I pointed it up in the air. The dual-lines acted like helicopter blades, and I started to rise up off the ground. I must have looked like Tim Allen as Mary Poppins.

I'm pretty sure I could jump-start my car with this thing.

I'm afraid to use it again, honestly. Thankfully, I've got some time before that's necessary. The yard will probably take a year or two before it recovers.


At 8:43 AM, Anonymous P-Ziddy said...

The Weed-Hacker, Vern! The Weeeed-Hacker!!!


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