It's Bad For You!

First, I must (re)introduce the players in this story. First is the Golfer. He's my immediate boss at work. He likes golf.

Second are the Ukrainian workers who crew the printing presses across the hallway from my office. They were mentioned in a semi-recent story about my feet, when one of them burst out laughing at my limp. Most of them are women, and very few of them will acknowledge any of us Americans.

Earlier this week, the Golfer went out to get Chinese food for lunch. As he was coming back with his bounty, he walked through the breakroom just behind his office.

Now keep in mind, these printer-press folk are generally polite and quiet. They almost never make eye contact with strangers, and are pretty protective of each other. It's *very* unusual for them to speak to any of us.

It was flat-out unthinkable for one of them to step in front of the Golfer and question him. She was loud (she was very likely the same one who pointed at my limp and laughed like she was seeing Robin Williams in his prime). She pointed at his lunch with a broad grin and question / shouted in a thick Russian accent, "Is that Chinese food?!?"

Shocked, the Golfer could think of nothing to say except, "... uh... yeah?".

"Chinese food bad for you!" she proclaimed. "Very bad for you! They have short lifespan! You eat Chinese food, you die young too!"

"... uh... really? OK... "

"You believe me! I live next to China! They not live long time! That food bad for you!"

"OK... I'll take my chances, thanks..."

With that, the Golfer scurried away as quick as he could.

Worth noting, this is the first time I've ever heard such a thing. I've always heard that Chinese food is actually very good for you. And last I heard, the Chinese have respectable lifespans. I never expected these assumptions to be challenged by a boisterous Ukrainian woman.

The rest of the week, the Farmer and I would give the Golfer a hard time about his expected lifespan.

"I'm off to a meeting. I'll be back at 4."
"Sure. If you live that long, you Chinese-food-eater."

Adding even more joy to the story is the fact that the Golfer is off for the next two weeks on a Hawaiian vacation. If the Ukrainian lady asks about him, Farmer and I are going to tell her that the Golfer died.