Imprisoned At Quick Trip

Yesterday, I stopped by a local Quick Trip on my way to work. I picked up a sammich that was going to be my lunch.

This particular Quick Trip isn't near a stoplight. And the traffic was simply amazing. I needed a left turn, but it was terribly obvious that I wasn't going to get one.

I turned my A/C up to try and keep the sammich fresh.

Sadly, I couldn't get a right turn, either. It took almost 5 full minutes for traffic to pause enough for me to turn right.

Once I turned right, I knew I needed to reverse course. It was a full 2 miles later that I was able to make a left turn into a neighborhood. There were so many cars even there that I had trouble getting into a driveway to turn around.

The whole time I was shivering from the cold. Dang sammich.

The idea of being imprisoned at a Quick Trip parking lot got me thinking... maybe this could be worked up as a legitimate punishment for federal offenders. For example:

"Mike Vick, you are hearby sentenced to the Quick Trip parking lot torture. The terms are as follows:

1) You must make a legal left turn from the QT parking lot during rush hour within 30 seconds.

2) Your left turn must not endanger other drivers. (Endangerment of other drivers will result in a doubling of your sentence, plus a flogging.)

3) You may not use the A/C to keep your sammich fresh.

4) Your car will be populated with 8 raging violent adult Tibetan mastiffs who can howl Barry Manilow songs and have been lovingly trained in the use of Chinese torture devices.

5) Failure to make the left turn in 30 seconds will result in you being taken back to jail until tomorrow, when you get to try again.

6) You must eat your sammich at the conclusion of each exercise, regardless of your success or failure.

May God have mercy on your soul."

What do you think of the QT Parking Lot Torture? Useful alternative to traditional prison institutions? Cheap way to kick a guy while he's down?