Three

This is how the world will end... not with a bang, but with a Whimper.

Yes, this is Guy Whimper, an Offensive Lineman for the New York Giants. I saw him during a preseason game and nearly fell over laughing. "Whimper" is not exactly a name that will strike fear into the hearts of your enemies.

It looks like he's a third-year "Guy", but I can't find any stats for him. I'm guessing that he's been down deep on the depth chart, and hasn't actually played in two years. I hope he makes the team this year... he's my new favorite player. :)

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I attended a Webinar at work earlier this week (if you don't know what a Webinar is, check out my previous story about one).

It was a dork vendor trying to sell us their latest and greatest nonsense. His presentation didn't go well... at one point he announced that a particular feature was "cool". Silence drifted across from our end of the conference call. Unfazed, he continued by saying, "Now the reason that is cool is..."

Just a tip. If you have explain to your audience why it's cool... it isn't.

We had to ask him to speak up, which lead to this unintentionally amusing statement: "If my voice starts to fade again, let me know..." His voice was actively fading while he was saying this.

By the end, he was so hard to hear he may has well have been in Zimbabwe. It didn't matter. We hated him enough to take up a collection and send him to Zimbabwe.

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We have an elderly friend who recently moved out of her apartment. About three weeks later, she got a letter from the apartment manager itemizing the condition of her old apartment.

One of the items on this list of doom was that her front door was missing several screws from its hinges. They thought she did this... amazing! Can you imagine a little old lady in her mid-70's attacking her front door with a screwdriver? The whole time she'd be muttering to herself, "Raise *my* rent, will they? The A/C rattles at night... teenage punks park in my handicapped spot... they can just go and find themselves some NEW SCREWS! That'll teach 'em."

I sure wish I had thought of this before we moved out of our apartment. I could have fleshed out my hardware collection a bit. :)