A Cash Cushion

A few mornings ago I saw my favorite poly-eyebrow'ed financial advisor, talking about how to protect your money during these interesting economic times. Specifically, she mentioned "Building a Cash Cushion."

I tried to get more details, but then she raised an eyebrow at me and I spilled my coffee down my shorts. Those unpredictable wigglers of hers freak me out.

Despite the jolt, my imagination was already in high gear. "Build a Cash Cushion"... is it just me, or does that sound like she's telling me to jam money in my mattress? I don't know if I like the idea of sleeping on the First Bank of Jeff.

Maybe she wants me to stuff greenbacks into bean-bag chairs. I dunno... if I took out my life savings in One's, maybe. Pennies... now, I'm sure I could load up a squishy chair with pennies. I don't know how squishy it would be after I was done, though.

I haven't decided if a Cash Cushion sounds more desirable than a Hedge Fund. I know the potential for Hedge Fund growth is significant, but I wonder about how pesticides would affect my retirement dollars. I'd like my money to be indoors and climate controlled, at least.

Then again, maybe all she's really saying is, "People, just stop spending stupid money and be prepared for emergencies."

Naw, it couldn't be *that*.