Mother's Day

Happy late Mother's Day!

Our day started at church, where there were 4 families having a "baby dedication". The pastor read a Bible verse for each child. The last kiddo was an adorable little boy who grinned and stared at the pastor as if he was the only thing in existence. He didn't even blink.

Pastor finished up with the boy and then looked at the congregation. "Man, I wish *you* guys would pay attention to me like that!"

After church, there was a group of us that went to lunch. The friendly lady up front asked how many was in our group (seven), and then told us it would be 35 minutes or so. Then, she launched into a lengthy explanation of, "...we estimate high so that no one gets mad..." I interrupted her. "But I'm mad already."

I was grinning when I said it. Scruffy and my wife both laughed. But I think I freaked out the poor lady. She started apologizing and explaining and gibbering.

Can you believe that anybody would take *me* seriously? Well, apparently there's one.

About 45 minutes later, my crowd was starting to turn on me. "You shouldn't have provoked her." I was feeling pretty sheepish when I went to the hostess stand again to ask what the holdup was. "Let's see... did you say there were 7 in your party, or
17?"

Oh my. They were trying to set us up a table for 17. That would have been fun. We'd have all the elbow room in the world, right up to the point when the other crowded claustrophobic patrons turned on us. The floor would have been littered with broken muffins, apple butter and crushed dreams.

Good luck getting *those* stains out.