Monday, November 23, 2009

Exercise Bike

Do not try this at homeSo, we bought an exercise bike. It has a digital monitor to show speed and estimated calories burned and whatnot. It also has "Dual Action Handlebars", which is just a fancy way of saying the handlebars move. You can push the thing with your arms or with the pedals. Clever.

I put it together Friday evening. Saturday, my wife and I took turns on the shiny new toy. "I did 5 minutes!" "I did 150 calories!" "I outpaced Lance Armstrong on the mountain stage!"

As evening approached, I got on the bike for one last turn. I was pushing along happily when the noise started. "Click... Click... Click..." Interesting.

I got down on the floor and started poking at it. The pedals were all right, the handlebars were still attached and moving, nothing seemed wrong.

My wife walked in. I was on my knees leaned over and staring at the fan assembly. I looked like I was bowing at a pagan alter... of *course* she walked in at that moment. "What are you doing?"

"Well, it started making a 'Click' sound when I move the pedals," I explained. I grabbed the nearest pedal to demonstrate. "See, I move it around and it makes a noise *THUD*... "

The handlebar swung forward and hit me on the back of the head. It wasn't exactly the noise I was trying to demonstrate, but it *was* well-timed. I had just enough presence of mind to say, "That wasn't the noise..." before I fell over. The impact laid me out flat on the floor.

Did anyone get the number of the truck that hit me?My wife thought I staged it, trying to be funny. She was laughing her head off while I moaned and drooled on the carpet.

As for the clicking noise, turns out the seat was wiggling a little. Just one of my many screws that were loose.

So how was my weekend? I brained myself with an exercise bike. How about you?


At 8:26 AM, Anonymous P-Ziddy said...

But will it blend?

At 8:43 AM, Blogger jeff.w.mcclung said...

Me, or the bike?


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