Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Chim-Chim, Cha-Roo

I have vertigo. I also have a ladder and a chimney that's got a leak up near the top, so I *knew* I was going to have a bad day.

I never should have bought a ladderClimbing the ladder wasn't too bad, although all the squeaky noises from the gutter got me good and terrified well in advance of my roof-walk. Once I was up high enough, I placed one foot on the roof and put a little weight on it.

My foot slid. An excellent way to begin the adventure.

I finally wound myself around into a more-or-less seated position on the roof, staring down at my wife. "You did it!", she shouted. "...mommy...", I whimpered.

I reverse-crab-scooted over to the chimney, which was fun since I kept sliding downward. I couldn't get traction up there for anything.

Pass the loofahWhen I finally got over to the chimney, things got easier. I was able to brace myself and put a tarp up. Now it no longer rains inside the house. Plus, our chimney looks like its wearing a shower cap, which is fun.

The final quandary was how to get down off the roof. I kept sticking a foot out toward the ladder and sliding. My wife asked what she could do to help and I jokingly said, "Stand under me with your arms out."

God bless her, she did it. I had to tell her to back up. "But what if you fall?" "Then let me fall! Help me *after* impact!"

The Dove of Cold VengeanceI took a few deep breaths to gather up my courage. Then, our Roof Dove got annoyed and pushed me off.

It was probably his write streaks on the shingles that made things so slippery on me anyway. Dang bird.

Editorial Note: We've got a roof / chimney guy who will come out in the next week or so to fix the leak, so the shower cap isn't permanent. :) We're gonna give him a nice tip if he's able to relocate the dove for us.


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