Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Stories From My Past: Seat Belt Safety

I'm good at everything

I'm good at nothing
I have no idea why, but this story popped into my head recently. The best lesson I ever learned about seat belt safety came not from a teacher, but from a high school Jock (fit the stereotype nicely, quite deserving of the capital letter).

There was a loose crowd of us, and somebody was talking about seat belts. A nearby NERD (light years above and beyond the stereotype, deserving of multiple capital letters) scoffed and said, "I'm never going to wear a seat belt."

Somebody challenged him on this, and he replied, "If I'm in a car wreck I'll just stick out my hands. I won't hit the dashboard."

The Jock had been uninvolved with the conversation to this point. He calmly walked over to the NERD and grabbed him by the back of the neck. The Jock then twirled the NERD around so that he was facing a wall.

"Stick out your hands," the Jock said. Then, with one hand, he slammed the NERD's face into the wall hard.

While the NERD gasped and held his face, the Jock calmly spoke. "If you can't stop me, what makes you think you can stop a car?"

Yeah, my high school could be a little rough sometimes.

The Jock went back to dispassionately ignoring us all. The NERD bled and blubbered. The rest of us pondered this important life lesson.

No, we didn't help the NERD over to the nurse's office. We didn't want his cooties.

And no, I wasn't the NERD in question. I was never a NERD in high school. I was just a simple Dork. Totally different class of undesirable, and only one capital letter. Learn the difference, or I'll find you and give you my cooties.


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