Monday, May 09, 2011

Animal House

I am NOT changing that diaper
There's been several stories in the Tulsa newspaper recently about a woman who keeps a disabled kangaroo (!?!) as a pet. The city council made a big deal out of the situation, trying to decide if she could keep it. Eventually they decided to make an exception for exotic animals that were incapable of harming anyone.

At the office, several of us were discussing the situation. Hilarity started to pour in from all sides.
Obviously, the conversation had already gone "weird". Buckle in and hold on to your armrests, because it's *all* downhill from here. :)

M16 kicked things off with, "So basically they're saying you can keep any animal as long as its handicapped?"

Grinning wickedly, LadyPatsFan was quick to jump in. "No, you have to say 'Handicapable'. It's a handicapable kangaroo."

M16 (ever the sensitive one) said, "Riiiight. So I can keep any animal as long as I cripple it first? I could have a pet Wildebeest as long as I break its back."

RUN! It's M16 with a leash!
There were laughs and gasping variations on, "Did he really just *say* that?!?". Then, for reasons unknown, somebody suggested doing the same thing to a rabbit.

"Wouldn't work," I pointed out. "If you break a rabbit's back, you don't have a pet. You have stew."

Somebody (either Maarek or OoRah) jumped in. "If handicapped ('Handicapable!' - LadyPatsFan) animals are OK, then I want a narcoleptic mountain lion!"

There were squeals of agreement. "As long as you can outrun him for a few minutes, he can't hurt anybody!"

Big Dawg joined the fray. "*My* mountain lion has A.D.D."

Inspiration struck me. "You know what a mountain lion with A.D.D. would look like?"

I pantomimed a mountain lion, about to swipe at somebody with his front paw. I even roared. Halfway through the motion, I got distracted by my own "paw" and just stared at it for a while.

Everybody else in the office roared, too. :)

Eventually, somebody threw out the easy-but-dependable joke, "That would make an excellent rock n' roll band name!". By the time we were done, our list of band names included "Handicapable Kangaroo", "Narcoleptic Mountain Lion", "Gorilla With a Hairlip", and "Tainted Rice".

My rice was "ew"
For the life of me I can't remember how Tainted Rice even found its way into the discussion. But I'm glad it did.


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