Amish Hackers

I'll admit, I'm taking a chance on this one. Depending on your sense of humor, you'll either think this is hilarious, or you'll think I'm a nut. Either way, you may be right.

Anyway, the required (and greatly truncated) back story to this happened many moons ago (anywhere from a year to two years back, I think). A friend of mine, in a fit of delirium, came up with the idea of a Techno-Amish Military Brigade. In time, this was simplified down a bit to a clan of Amish Computer Hackers.

Right away, you probably know where you stand on this type of humor. You're either laughing already at such a ridiculous thought, or you're looking at the screen thinking, "What? That's just ridiculous." You're both right, of course. If you aren't laughing at this off-the-wall bizarre type of humor, then you need to go watch Monty Python's "The Holy Grail" in a continuous loop until our familiar logical world doesn't make sense anymore. Then come back here. We'll wait for you.

Ready? OK. Anywho, I was challenged in conversation to come up with a pledge for a guild of Amish Hackers. The sort of thing they might recite together as a group at the beginning of their meetings, that sort of thing. This is what I came up with:


"I do solemnly swear to give compassion with my heart, and merciless slaughter with my packets.

I will raise a barn with my hands, and I will raze international archives with my mad skillz.

I will sell the fruit of my fields and donate the money to the poor, and I will sell stolen personal identity information on the black market while donating that money to my Jamaican Relocation fund.

I shall do so with joy, for it is written: Blessed are the n00b's^*. They shall be my provision.

Amen."


^* NOTE: The definition of a "n00b" can be found here.