Late Photoshop Jeff Pic

You know that I'm not legally liable if your monitor bursts into flame, right?

No matter how distressing a photo I display, I can't *actually* be blamed for damages (physical or psychological) that you may experience. Especially if I give you a nice bold warning first.

Short-Timer has presented me with the most... you know, I'm honestly not sure which noun is appropriate. But there's no doubt that "most" is the best qualifier for it.

Click here to see something truly memorable.

Caption:

Captain Danger Pants Delivers!

Ask about our piping hot sausage and beefcake special

OK, now you've seen it. The damage is done. Let me help you with some of the post-trauma conditioning.

First of all, don't close your eyes. This image will haunt you. I recommend you immediately focus on something pleasant and colorful. You could search youtube for some old Chevy Chase clips, watch some kids playing, or even hug a puppy.

If you work for a company of any size, then you've had diversity "training". Take a moment to embrace it now. "Some people are just whiter than I am. They're different and that's OK."

Finally, don't let the fresh deep bruises on your soul distract you from practical concerns. If you smell smoke, unplug your computer and walk away. If you've soiled yourself, don't be embarrassed. Under the circumstances, no one can blame you.

I'm truly sorry to have done this to you, but you all know my "Photoshop Jeff" posting policy... if you submit it, I'll post it.

Pleasant dreams. :)