Doing Battle

Last week I had the honor of doing mighty battle with a Script Kiddie! A Script Kiddie is like a hacker, only far dumber.

This particular dork was trying to insert spam-ish links on our web site. Most of them were links to pictures of celebrities that probably hadn't been approved by their publicists. There were also several links to discount pharmaceuticals, and one link to Benihana's.

And no, amazingly enough, I didn't make that last part up. I looked at the list of failed attempts, pointed out that particular link and said to my boss, "I'm tempted to let that one through."

I sat down at the keyboard to do battle. I tried to trace his location, but he evaded me. I tried to block his attempts, but he came at me from more than one source. I tried to alert the authorities, but he sucker-punched me from behind and ran away giggling.

Clever hacker.

In the end, I figured out how to intercept his infectious web requests, remove the stinky bits, and then send him along his merry way as if nothing had happened. Now, unless he's paying close attention to his script, he'll never know how useless his attempts are. It's like trying to knock down the Great Wall Of China with a pillow.

Clever hacker? Ha! Clever Jeff says NO TO YOU, smelly hack-thing!