In Review

My wife reminded me that I've been in Tulsa now for three full years. Pretty amazing how time flies! Since I work for a news organization, I thought it would be appropriate to look back at the ways that I personally have made headlines over the past three years.

2006
Jeff promoted to "Planetary" status after Pluto downgraded

Jeff spreads Bird Flu in Scotland

Warren Buffet donates 40 billion to the "Jeff is Amazingly Great" foundation, but rescinds the gift after realizing he'd donated it to the wrong dork

2007
Jeff narrowly misses out on being the first female Speaker Of The House

Jeff drives 800 miles non-stop wearing an astronaut diaper, but still arrives too late for the "Beastie Boys" reunion concert

In Illinois, Pluto restored to "Planetary" status, Jeff demoted to "Dwarf Dork" status

2008
Jeff earns Olympic gold as member of Chinese Gymnastics team

Jeff buys Ohio-based plumbing business, fires "Joe the Plumber"

Jeff applies for, receives federal bailout funds, then books a Vegas retreat