Friday Funnies

Tiny bits of wisdom from my email archive...

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Whatever hits the fan, will not be distributed evenly.

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!
Except that one where you're naked in church.

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Welcome to Utah
Set your watch back 20 years.

I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.

Dyslexics Have More Nuf.

I love cooking with wine.
Sometimes I even put it in the food.

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.

Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.