Friday, May 07, 2010

I Dreamed A Dream

I had a freakin' weird dream the other night.

Your touch is like the cold finger of deathIt started with me holding a cat. Kitty wasn't happy about being held, so he arched his back and tried to push away. Then, it was like what mama's everywhere say to their kids... "Don't make a face, it might freeze that way." The cat froze. I turned him sideways and cuddled my little half-moon shaped arch of kitty fury.

Then, my parents arrived in Dad's truck. The truck was loaded down with furniture. Dad parked it in my cavernous garage... there was room for at least 6 cars in there, and he parked as far away from the door as possible.

I miss my footstoolSomehow, a day passed without us unloading anything. Mom insisted that we unload her footstool. Dad and I started the long trek across the garage to his truck but somehow wound up outside instead.

"Where's Grandma and Grandpa?", I asked. "On one of their road trips," Mom replied. "They'll be back in a few days." Dad looked over his shoulder. "They're home early," he said, and then jumped out of the way to avoid being run over. Grandpa fearlessly drove his truck up into the yard and through my fence on his way to the back yard.

They weren't especially fierce monsters, honestly"I'll go help him," I said. Grandpa was in his truck in my backyard. There was a wide creek just beyond my back fence, and the neighbor on the other side was known to have monsters in his yard. Grandpa was trying to back his truck across a small bridge that went over the creek.

I climbed onto the front of his truck. Grandpa said, "Let me know if I'm about to hit anything," and then he floored it. He hit everything. He destroyed a swingset, crushed a lawn mower and knocked over my forklift. I have no idea why I had a forklift in my backyard.

Forklift did not deserve such treatmentI waved my arms and screamed, but Grandpa couldn't hear me. He backed the truck halfway onto the little bridge and knocked over part of the fence. The neighbor's monsters looked up and grinned.

Dad appeared in the backyard and started yelling. "Pop, why'd you do that? Slow down and listen!" Grandpa still couldn't hear what was being said and kept shouting, "HUH?!?". Mom appeared with the rigamortis cat and started asking about her footstool again.

Yeah, you knew I was gonna go thereThe monsters started to climb what was left of the fence. We paused to watch. The monsters were all mostly man-shaped with evil grins and weird eyebrows.

I woke up.

OK, time for some dream analysis. What the heck did all of this mean???


At 8:40 AM, Anonymous P-Ziddy said...

No more jalapeños and cottage cheese before bed for YOU mister!

At 10:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It obviously means (to someone with the insight of Daniel) that you have a sincere paranoia about a one world order style government being instituted by the Freemasons and ruled by the Illuminati. You also know that they are poisoning the general population with small amounts of fluoride in the water in order to dumb us down and keep us controllable.

I'll not get into your theories on just what is really in those airliner contrails or why your stiff cat always steals the left sock from the laundry.

Look on the bright side, Monday is only 3 days away.

Ooh Rah


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