Funny Quotes

One more pot and I can fly!

I'll have a Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte to go. Please.

You've been nothing but a dissapointment to me since the moment I met you.

Let's take a moment and think if I am a morning person... no.

From the email archive. Happy Friday!
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Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours. <-- Jeff's favorite! :)

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.