On A Hot Day

Fun Things To Do In The Excessive Heat

1) Fantasize about Scruffy in a dunk tank.

2) Watch all your outdoor possessions slowly melt.

3) Watch speeding highway drivers swerve to avoid fresh patches of disintegrating asphalt.

4) Roast marshmallows in the flames that spontaneously erupt in what's left of your yard.

5) Develop a protective layer of scorched blackened crispy smoking calluses on the bottom of your feet by walking on the pavement.

6) Make a healthy snack out of the birdseed that's started popping like popcorn.

7) Sun's furious rays are ideal for working on your Melanoma.

8) Engage in brain-strengthening thought exercises, like tying to remember what clouds look like.


As you can see, I don't *quite* have a top ten here. Help me out! What's the best thing about prolonged triple digit heat? It can't all be bad!