Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Witch's Day Off

I'm trying something different today. Generally my writing is only *mostly* fictional. Today I give you a 100% fictional short story that was inspired by a wierd conversation I had with V.


Witch's Day Off

It was a dark and stormy night.

No, seriously. This wasn't your average torrential rain. It was like someone took an ocean and turned it upside down.

Of course, even rain like this wasn't really a problem. The witch's broom could still fly... or swim, if it came to that.

The lightning was a bit of a concern. The sky was lit up like a Tesla Coil. Still, it made a nice backdrop for evil deeds, so the witch didn't mind too much. Direct strikes still tended to sting, but her cloak and hat were non-conductive.

The big problem was the hail. Massive lumps of ice were coming down from the heavens like rocket-propelled grapefruit. The witch would probably be reduced to mulch before she even hit the ground. They'd never find her broomstick.

The witch sighed. "I guess I'll have to take a sick day."

She called the main office. "Yes, I know I was supposed to bring vengeance to the villagers tonight... Yes, I know Kathy is on maternity leave... Have you seen what it's doing out there?..."

Eventually she hung up. And then pondered... what does a witch do on a rainy day off?

She peeled off most of her "Lee Press-On Warts" and took a hot soaking bath.

She put on a comfy soft lavender frilly robe and bunny slippers.

She put on some soft classical music and stretched out on the sofa.

She sipped a cup of tea and watched a "Dukes of Hazard" marathon.

She called her mother.

And when the hail finally started to let up, she scheduled a contractor to come out and inspect her roof.

When the last of the hail had fallen and the lightning wasn't quite so dizzying, the witch grinned. She twisted on her hat and pulled her cloak out of the dryer. "Hm, that really does smell 'Springtime Fresh'," she commented. "Well... not for long!"

Cackling happily, she hopped on her broom and swooshed off toward the nearby village.

The day off was nice. Now it was time to earn a little overtime.


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