Dirt Return

My wife planted some Spring flowers in front of our house. Very pretty stuff.

When she was done, she had one whole bag of "Miracle Gro" dirt left over. The stuff is 8 bucks a bag, so she wasn't going to just toss in the yard anywhere. We prefer not to store bags of dirt in our garage long-term. She had other errands to run anyway. An idea began to form.

She called Lowe's. "Can I return this bag of dirt?"

The customer service lady stuttered. "Uh, I think so," she said. "Is it defective somehow?"

My wife hung up and hit the road. When she arrived at Lowe's, there was a different lady at the service desk.

"Can I return this bag of dirt?" "What?!?"

My wife explained, "It was expensive and I got too much of it." The service lady was stunned. "I don't think we've ever had anybody return dirt before."

"I don't mind being the first. Can I have my eight dollars back?"

The customer service lady was still struggling to understand what was happening. "I don't know where to put it. We don't have a refurbished dirt aisle. I'll have to call a manager."

A nearby customer overheard part of the exchange. "Are you returning dirt?", he asked. My wife glared at him, defiant. "Yes." The man paused for a long moment, confused. "Did it have bugs in it?" My wife drew back her hand and shouted, "I'll bug you!" The customer ran away, whimpering.

She eventually got her 8 bucks back, but the manager made her pose for a cell-phone picture standing next to the dirt ("I'll tell my grandkids about this one day!").

Totally worth it.