Fat Americans

A couple of weeks ago, the Tulsa State Fair was held. A young couple I know (we'll call them Lucy and Ricky) attended, along with a friend of theirs from Scandinavia.

The Scandinavian friend was fascinated... not by the animals, or the rides, or the bands... but by the fat Americans. All over the fairgrounds, huge people were lumbering around, cracking pavement, eclipsing the sun, and stuffing their faces. We're not talkin' about tall, athletic, well-proportioned people here. We're talkin' about people who are wider than they are tall.

"My friends back home will never believe this!" said Skippy the Scandinavian. He began to send Lucy and Ricky out as decoys. "Stand next to that 450-pound woman eating the fried Snickers bar," he'd say. Lucy and Ricky would comply, then they'd look up at Skippy and wave like maniacs. Skippy held up his camera-phone, and took a picture of the fat woman.

Ricky was about to burst laughing. He thought this was the greatest trick in the world. Lucy was a bit more cautious. She was embarrassed about actively mocking the mountainous fair-goers, and she was a little concerned that she might be mistaken for a greasy corn dog and eaten.

As for the moral of the story; er... I'm not sure. I guess, if you happen to be a few hundred pounds overweight, you should probably see a doctor. And avoid my friends Lucy and Ricky... they're mean.