Brain Mouse

This looks like a cool toy. Check out the Neural Impulse Actuator "brain mouse".

It's a computer mouse that reads your mind. It's primarily for gamers. Apparently you can look at an on-screen enemy and think "click", and then watch him explode in a colorful ball of fiery delight. It just has to be able to register your thoughts.

This is a toy I can never attempt to use. I'm terrified that it won't register any thoughts. I'd put on the headband, and a voice from the depths of the PC would say, "Any time now, OK? Just hook it up and... what? Are you serious? *sigh*... OK, somebody knock this limp over-grown bendy-straw out of the seat and hook me up to a Rhodes Scholar, will ya?"

I don't think I could live that down. There's no way to discretely try one, either. The only way to avoid onlookers would be to buy one and try it at home while my wife is out shopping. That would be expensive. Plus, how do I know that a toy so advanced isn't capable of wirelessly communicating with its evil masters?

"Bulletin... 9:44PM... Owner 59826 has toggled the power switch again... He's wearing the headband backwards... Requesting action from Repossession Department... Please... Save me..."

As superpowers go, "The ability to make machines cry" is pretty lame. Even Aquaman would mock me.