Where Do All The Beautiful People Live?

Not here.

American city with the ugliest locals? Philadelphia

Of all the metrics to study, I wonder why they picked ugly people. "The City With The Most Fantastic Foot Fungus" must have already been in the works. A rival research team probably had dibs on the "City With The Thickest Back Hair" study.

Heh. "Rival Research Teams". That's a fun phrase (and perhaps a good rock n' roll band name). I wonder if research teams form violent rivalries. Can't you just imagine our intrepid "Ugly People" team staring down the American Dental Association dudes in a dimly-lit pub? Somebody would knock over a drink, and the throw-down would begin. Bar-Fight!

Ever wonder why only 4 out of 5 dentists approve of anything? Dentist number 5 was knocked out cold by a facial deformity expert wielding a broken table leg.

Yeah, it got ugly in there.