Pseudo Celeb At The Optometrist

So, I went to the eye doctor last week.

Up first was the young lady behind the counter. She didn't look like anybody famous, but she sounded like one.

" *cough* sorry about mah voice...", she croaked. "allergies..."

"Lady," I said, "You sound like Larry King."

The actual eye doctor reminded me of Doogie Howser because he was younger than me. I'm not old enough to have doctors that are younger than me!

"My eye doctor is a few years younger than me. My primary care doctor starts Jr. High school this year. My dentist is a fetus."

Later, I went to the place next door to pick out new frames for my glasses. Jessica Biel stepped up to the counter to help me.

Of course it wasn't *really* her, but she was close enough for jazz. Honestly, I was a bit star-struck. I reminded myself that near-celebrities are people too, and pledged to act naturally.

"What can I help you with today?", she asked. And she smiled.

"flaaaaaaahh bliilith faah fwaaaaaa."

Sensing an easy sale, she directed me to the most expensive frames they had.

I think I'll look good in these, don't you?