Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Just Say No To Hot Dogs And Dancing

My wife and I have been attending a Bible study on Wednesdays. It's a very intelligent, insightful group... but often hilarity will jump in and take over everything. It's wonderful.

I'm disgusting!
Last week there was a rambling discussion about food. I'll skip ahead to the part where...

Baalam's Donkey: "I used to eat an entire package of hot dogs as a snack. I'd slice them down the middle and fry them flat, then cover them with mustard and mayo."

There was general amused disgust, but not as bad as when a lady in the group confessed:

Lady: "I used to peel off the outer skin like it was a banana, and eat the rest raw."

After the dry heaves, there was a somewhat rambling discussion about gluttony. Suddenly, our reformed Catholic spoke up.

... not as I do.
Reformed Catholic: "So here's the Catholic question... do the Seven Deadly Sins figure in with Baptists at all?"

Pastor: "More than you might think, but most Baptist preachers don't like to talk about gluttony." He patted his rail-thin stomach and smiled. "I am not the norm."

Jeff: "We take gluttony off the list and replace it with dancing."

There was laughter. Another guy in the group spoke up...

Guy: "Reminds me of an old joke. Baptists don't approve of sex before marriage, because it might lead to dancing."

After the second round of laughter, there were a couple of stories shared along those lines. Friends of friends who didn't have dancing at their wedding, that sort of thing. Suddenly it dawned on our reformed Catholic that these stories were not exaggerations.

I do what I can, baby
Reformed Catholic: "Wait... seriously? Dancing? That's a thing?"

Somebody Else: "Well, not *us*, but there are still lots of Baptists who refuse to dance."

Reformed Catholic: "I thought Kevin Bacon took care of all of this back in the 80's."

No lie, folks. I haven't laughed that hard in years.

That Kevin Bacon line brought actual tears to my eyes. Wow. I don't even remember what happened for the next two minutes or so.

I may try to work in lines of "Footloose" dialog to the conversation tonight, and see if anybody notices.

If you ask me, Ren is a total fox!


At 9:45 PM, Blogger Balaam's Donkey said...

Hey! If you need a better recipe on the hotdog splits, just let me know...

At 10:02 PM, Blogger jeff.w.mcclung said...

I always need better hot dog recipes.


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