Olive Garden

We went to the Olive Garden recently. One table over from us was a group of young idiots.

The waitress came over. One of the ladies sitting at the table recognized her and had an enthusiasm babble-burst.

"WOW!!!", she shrieked. "Oh, this is GREAT!!!" She looked to be in her early 30's but she was gushing like a teeny-bopper meeting Edward Cullen. "*YOU* get to serve us today!"

Waitress clearly did not share her enthusiasm. In a frowning deadpan monotone she replied, "Yeah, I'm excited about it too."

Later in the meal, I wandered off to the bathroom. As I approached my stall I could see little kiddo-shoes in the next stall over. A little fellow was sitting and swinging his feet.

I stood and prepared to do my thing. The little kiddo noticed my shoes under the stall.

"Daddy! Is that Mommy!"

I nearly fell into my porcelain receptacle laughing. I could hear his daddy saying, "No, that's not Mommy."

"Are you sure?!?" "Yes, I sure that's not Mommy."

I've never been mistaken for anybody's Mommy before.